Title: Cream Tease
Author: Elvichar
Author email: elvichar@yahoo.com
Genre: Pres-slash
Rating: R for smut and innuendo
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Notes: Thanks to Tresca who wanted an ice cream story.




Clark examined the crate carefully. Lex had only ordered vegetables and fruit, but he didnít eat properly. Clark had never seen him actually eat a meal. If his mom knew she would probably force feed him. With this in mind he had rescued some spare food out of the Kent refrigerator - all that would happen was that his mom would tick him off for eating all the food again, Lex needed it more, he was getting so skinny lately.

The crate contained a huge bowl of cream (the cows could always make some more if that was missed), a stick of butter (ditto) and some of his momís home made ice-cream. Four different flavors. Martha was going to try and sell it at the farmers market until she realized it would probably melt without a proper, expensive, portable freezer. The amount she had made meant that not even Clark could get through it all easily by himself.

Lex smiled as Clark clattered in.  "Whatís in the box? I only wanted few apples and a head of lettuce."

"Wait till you see. Youíll like it, " Clark went straight to the kitchen, Lex followed, intrigued. "It will melt if I donít put it away now." Clark took a carton of strawberry ice-cream out of the box. It was already melting. "We have to eat this straight away Lex."

"I can see that."

Lex moved over to see what else was in the box. "Sticky." All the ice-cream was melting. "What is it
chocolate fudge?"

Clark wiped wiped some of the melty mess from the carton and tasted it. "Yes - it probably is."

"How long have you been carrying this around?"

"Not long. Itís hot out Lex."

"Iíll get the spoons."

"You donít need any spoons. You can just lick it."

Clark picked up a carton and demonstrated by licking the gloopy mess off the outside. He smiled.

Lex just stared. "Thatís an interesting technique you have Clark."

"Best way. Just stick it straight in your mouth. It always tastes much better that way."

"Really," Lex grinned. "It certainly is a hot day today Clark." Lex reached out and grabbed another carton. He tore the lid off and stuck a finger inside.  "Mmm. I think this is blueberry."

"Where. Let me try." Clark reached out to grab the pot but Lex pulled back.

"If you want it youíre going to have to come and get it. "

"No fair."

Using the tips of his fingers Lex reached in and scooped some of the ice-cream before licking it off. "Oh, This is some good ice-cream."

"Give it to me."

Clark grabbed Lex and started to play fight with him, trying to wrestle control of the carton. The ice-cream
was very sort by now and it spurted out of the container and all over Clarkís shirt and Lexís clean jacket.

Clark started to laugh. "Aw Iím sorry Lex. I didnít think that through."

"Well looks like Iím going to have to take this off. And maybe you should change your shirt too. Iíll lend
you one while we get yours clean."

Clark took off his shirt and laid it on a work surface. "It was hot in here anyway. Probably donít need a shirt on a day like this. Anyway - more ice-cream. That was fun."

Lex gulped. "Maybe you should put it away."

"No - it has to be eaten now. Otherwise itíll go to waste, Dad always says waste not want not."

"Really. How very wise."

"I think this one is cherry," Clark said removing yet another carton from the box. "Iím keeping this one.
Unless you want to share?"

Lex snorted. "You want me to come over there and take your cherry?"

Clark looked shocked all of a sudden. "IÖum, Lex."

"Never mind. Maybe we should just clean up some of this mess. " Lex leaned down and started scraping the
remains of the chocolate fudge back into the container, "Sometimes I wonder why I bother employing servants - I always seem to end up doing these things myself." He froze. Clark was definitely right behind him, really close all of a sudden.

"You need help with that?"

Lex could feel Clarkís breath he was so close. If he had had hairs on the back of his neck they would have
been standing up at this point.  "I, er.. yesÖ you could help I suppose." It wasnít like Lex to get nervous like this, but this but Clark was so close. Invading his personal space.

"Donít you want some more ice-cream first? It may get even messier, no point cleaning up yet." Clark thrust
the cherry ice-cream forward. Shirtless, half-naked, Clark was on Lexís kitchen floor offering his cherry
flavored creamy goodness. Lex couldnít help it, he guffawed in a most unattractive fashion.

Clark stayed there very still. "Donít you want any. Itís good."

"Clark, please say youíre not going to stick that in my face."

From the corner of his eye Lex could see Clark grinning. Lex closed his eyes and screwed up his face. He just knew he was going to get a face full of cream any second now. He just had to brace himself. A few seconds later he was still waiting . "Clark, if youíre going to do it just do it.  Otherwise shall we just finish cleaning up this mess."

"Oh no - you donít escape from my clutches quite that easily. I am the mighty Clark with my weapon the ice-cream of doom. Now where shall I put it?"

"In the freezer?"

"Oh no - I donít think so."

Lex was having to tell himself to breath. To stay calm. "Ok, well maybe my mouth is a good place. Ice cream in the mouth."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan. How much do you want. Do you want a little bit or do you want it all?"

Lex didnít answer. He wasnít really sure what was happening now. This was, frankly, weird.

"Weíre going to have to eat it quick itís going soft now. "

"I thought that was always the problem."

"Yes but it was harder than the others. Now its not."

"Well then, that is a problem."

Clark moved away and started to look around. "Oh. We have made a bit of a mess here havenít we. Oops."

"Do I not get any ice-cream now then?" Lex smiled.

"You still want some?"

Lex coughed. "Um. Yeah, Clark. Of course I do."

Clark looked at him for a second and then down at the tub. "Um, Lex. I get a feeling we are sort of not
talking about ice-cream here. Not just anyway."

"Really?" Lex looked smug. Good, he was getting back on top of this situation.

Clark looked sheepish. "Maybe this is my fault. I shouldnít have pushed you just then."


Clark smiled again. "But now Iím going to get ice-cream all over the rest of your nice clean clothes." He dive bombed Lex, a handful of ice-cream in one hand and the tub in the other. In a second he had straddled Lex and was trying to force the ice-cream into his mouth. Lex swallowed it.

"Clark, you are a dirty fighter."


They just lay there for a second , breathing heavily. Staring at each other. Clark felt the urge to growl for some unknown reason. He resisted because he didnít want Lex to think he was silly or anything.

"Um, Clark, maybe you should get off me now. Youíre a bit on the heavy side you know."

If there had been a moment it had passed. Not that this hadnít been fun.

Clark got up slowly. "Yeah, Mom is expecting me home. Iíve got a lot of chores to do this afternoon."

"Maybe Iíll stop by the barn later," Lex said.

Clark smiled his "Yeah, cool plan Iíll see you later."  Clark turned and walked away, leaving his shirt behind him.

Lex called after him "You going home like that?"

"Yes. Why not. Iím hot."

Then he was gone and Lex was left in the midst of chaos.

He sighed.

God sometimes it was hard being friends with Clark.


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