Genre: Slash/First Time/Angst/Drama
Disclaimer: I don't own a whole lot, and if you take away my Michael Shrine I will cry.
Summary: Clark decides being alone is better than lying.
Notes: Thanks to Alax for the beta. And thanks to Slodwick. And everyone else that encouraged me to post this and emailed to ask if it was done.
Clark stared at the computer monitor, barely seeing it. He rolled the mouse across the mouse pad, following the arrow with his eyes and clicked the refresh button on his email.
He sighed. Nothing but spam. Quickly deleted it all and minimized the window. Staring back at him was the essay for his English class that was due on Monday.
The words blurred and he closed his eyes. After rubbing them, he fought them back to focus. Clark spent entirely too much time here bathed in the glow of monitor light.
It's a small apartment, just off campus. He'd lived here ever since freshman year, obtaining special permission from the dean. It wasn't like he could stay in the dorms or have a roommate; what if he floated?
Opening his browser again, he began his daily search for information on his old friends. He didn't speak to them much anymore. Easier this way.
Pete was going to college out of state and Clark still heard from him once in a while. An email or a message on his machine was most likely. Sometimes it was a postcard from one of his many adventures, like the one he got last March when Pete went to Florida for Spring Break.
Chloe was going to Gotham University, studying journalism, of course. She was so busy with her campus paper that he mostly heard about her through the stuff he looked up. Reading her articles at the university's website. Sometimes he heard about her indirectly through Pete or got an email if he was lucky.
Lana was still in Smallville. Clark didn't think she'd ever leave. He had gone to her and Whitney's wedding after graduation and it had been awkward and uncomfortable. She still managed the Talon and after Whitney's brief stint in the Marines, he was back to managing Fordman's. Clark had gotten one of those picture cards during the holidays, showing a smiling family.
Clark tried not to think about the times they used to spend together. He was much better off alone. He kept telling himself that. Sooner or later it was going to sink in.
Clark couldn't deal with the luxury of friendship anymore. He went to class. He studied. He went to the library. People got too close. Asked too many questions. He'd let his guard down around Pete and Chloe... Chloe's questions were too hard to answer and too hard not to answer.
Just like Lex's.
He pushed himself back from the desk and got up from his chair. He shook his head as if to clear it as he crossed the small room to the kitchenette. He couldn't let himself think about Lex at all. That just hurt way too much.
Distancing himself from Lex had proved to be the hardest. With Pete and Chloe and Lana, it was a little easier when they all went their separate directions. Easier to just not pick up the phone, not visit, or return emails. Lex had been the only one that really noticed what Clark was doing and the only one that tried to stop him.
Clark pulled a soda and the leftover pizza from the fridge and looked at the clock. It was almost noon and time for his Anthropology class. He finished the pizza and the soda, leaving the empty can by the sink.
Clark gathered his books and tried to shake off the melancholy. He was just going to have to get over feeling alone. He hustled to his only class of the day. Sitting in the back, like always, he took notes and wrote down the reading assignment. After everyone else left, he stood to leave.
He was playing a game with himself. He called it "How Many Days Can I Go Without Speaking to Anyone?" He was currently working on six days. His record was nine. And that had only been because his mom had called.
He got back to his apartment and tossed his backpack onto the chair. Glancing at the computer, he sighed in disgust. Instead of sitting in front of it again, he went to the bathroom to shower.
He stood under the spray that was never quite hot enough and thought about his lack of plans for the evening. After shampooing his hair and soaping himself up, he rinsed off and stepped from the stall.
He was still drying his hair as he walked from the bathroom to the living room. That was one of the things he really liked about living alone. Walking around his apartment naked. It wasn't like he got cold and he had curtains.
As he crossed the room he heard a gasp from the corner behind him and he froze. He turned and moved the towel from hair-drying duty to cover himself. As he turned he said, "Okay, who are you, and how did you..." He trailed off when he saw who it was. The towel slipped from his fingers.
The call from Martha Kent was unexpected. He hadn't heard from any of the Kents in a while. During the call, she'd explained the odd behavior her son was exhibiting. He never called, only the occasional email. He wouldn't answer the phone unless she started talking to the machine. And when they did talk he never asked any questions about any of his friends or volunteered any information about new ones or activities. He'd only say he was 'fine' and classes were 'good.'
Chloe had called her several times to found out about Clark and even Pete had called. Lana always asked about him when Martha saw her in town, but none of them heard from him. Their emails were unreturned and calls unanswered. Martha was worried about him.
Martha offered Lex her spare key. Suggested he go to his apartment and find out what was wrong. She thought he'd talk to Lex.
The key had arrived a few minutes ago and now, Lex sat at his desk, turning it over in his fingers. He pulled the note from the envelope and read :
Dear Lex -
Thank you so much for taking time from your busy schedule. I'm so worried about Clark. You were always such a good friend to him. I know you'll be able to help. Love, Martha Kent
The note fell from his fingers after he'd read it twice. The 'dear' and the 'love' standing out. He stared at the wall of his office thinking and remembering.
Abruptly, he shook his head and pushed a button on the intercom on his desk. "Miss Patterson. Clear my schedule for tomorrow. I will be unavailable."
"Yes, sir." Came the immediate reply.
He got up from his desk and walked to the window that overlooked Metropolis, memories of Clark filling his mind.
To his credit, Lex chose a point on the wall behind Clark to focus on.
Clark scrambled to pick up the towel and wrapped it around his waist. The blush spread up his cheeks to the tips of his ears. "L-Lex? What are you doing here? How did you get in?"
"Clark. Your mother sent me. She's worried about you."
He clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes. "Worried about what? I go to class. I'm not doing anything wrong."
"Your friends are worried about you, too, Clark. Everyone has been calling your mom to check on you."
"I just want to be left alone. I'm fine. Everything is fine." He balled up his hands into fists and turned around. "I'm going to change. You can wait here if you want. Or whatever."
Clark turned and went back to his bedroom. He stood in front of his closet staring at the clothes, taking deep breaths. It was a shock to see Lex. All the old feelings he'd shoved down inside were just under the surface now, threatening to erupt.
He knew Lex would hate him if he knew the truth. They all would. It was just easier this way. Let them think there was something wrong, rather than have them know something was wrong. Clark sighed and turned from the closet to the dresser and pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from the drawers. He shrugged them on and took a couple more deep breaths.
Lex was in his living room. Possibly sitting on his couch. Maybe even going through all of his internet files, while Clark was in his bedroom, trying to remember what he was supposed to say. Trying to remember what it was like to socialize with actual people instead of a keyboard and nicknames. He closed his eyes and leaned against his closed door.
He could do this. Just make Lex believe that everything was okay. Make Lex leave before Clark lost the fragile hold on all the emotion he'd worked so hard to shove deep. He talked himself into leaving the bedroom. Facing Lex.
He made it back to the living room, only to find Lex sitting calmly on the couch reading something on his palm pilot. He looked up when Clark cleared his throat, smiled and asked, "Better? Okay, then. Want me to take you out for dinner? Unless you have a class or something..."
Clark shook his head. "Listen, Lex. I really appreciate you coming over here to check on me, but I'm fine. Really I am."
"Are you doing drugs?"
"God No! Why would you even think that?"
He ticked the points off on his fingers, saying, "You don't talk to any of your friends. You're avoiding your parents. You obviously don't want me here and we were supposed to be 'best friends.' Should I go on? Something is wrong. People are worried about you, Clark."
"Nothing is wrong, Lex," Clark whispered. "I just want to be by myself. It's just better this way."
"What way? Alone? Come on, Clark. This isn't you." Lex was getting frustrated.
"Maybe it is. Maybe it is me." Clark was almost whining now. He was close to losing it.
"Clark, you can tell me anything. Anything at all. I'm your friend and I care about you. I want to help."
Clark turned, not able to look at Lex, tears threatening to fall. "Lex. Please? I just need to be alone. I can't go into it."
Lex took another step and put a hand on Clark's back. "Jesus, Clark. What happened to you?"
Clark shrugged Lex's hand off and stepped away. He took a deep breath and tried to sound convincing. "Nothing happened. There's nothing wrong." He stepped towards the door. "Can I get my mom's key back? You should go. Thanks for your concern."
Lex narrowed his eyes. "Clark. I know something is going on here." The unspoken next line was 'and I'm going to find out.'
Clark just shrugged and held out his hand for the key. Lex pressed the key into his palm and stepped to the door. "I want to help you, Clark." He looked at Clark, trying to meet his eyes. Clark just nodded and looked at the floor. Lex finally stepped through the door and Clark shut it behind him.
Clark sagged against the door and took another deep breath. Why had his mom sent Lex of all people to check on him? He looked around the room, his eyes finding the computer. He made his way over to it and sat down. Opening his email, he started writing letter to his parents. So much easier than picking up the phone.
Re: Current Events
I can't believe you sent Lex to check on me. I'm fine. I've been fine. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm going to class, I'm doing my homework, my grades are excellent. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. Don't you guys see that this is the best way to keep my secret? I got too close to people before. They asked too many questions. I got too comfortable around them and little things started to slip through. Especially with Lex. Mom, you've got to understand. It's just easier to be alone.
Clark sent the email and shut his computer down. He looked at the clock, noting that it was still early. He thought about ordering something for dinner, but decided he was too exhausted. Too tired to cook anything, either. He threw himself down on the couch turned on the television and after watching part of the news, fell asleep.
He woke up covered in sweat. Half leapt off the couch, and then settled back when he realized it was just a dream. Again. It was the one that had plagued him for a while. The one where he has to use one of his powers to save someone and instead everything being fine, it's like Phalen all over again. Only in the dream, everyone finds out. And one by one, all of his friends turn away from him.
Clark leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and buried his head in his hands. He didn't have to look at the clock to know it was late.
Lex sat at the desk staring at the report he'd gotten only minutes ago. The one-page report. All of Clark's activities were listed. Public utility records, grades, even video rentals. It all summed up what Clark had been doing since high school, and verified everything he'd said. He kept to himself, he got good grades. Nothing that explained what was going on.
Lex had called Martha from the car as he'd left Clark's apartment. She'd apologized. What was it with the Kents? Always apologizing for things they couldn't control. Lex shook his head and tossed the paper back on his desk.
Clark had been so desperate to be alone. He just did not want Lex anywhere near him. Lex didn't understand. What could be so bad that Clark would be afraid to tell anyone? Afraid of even telling his parents? That they would come to Lex, of all people, for help?
The phone rang and Clark stared at it. Figuring it must be his mom, he let the machine pick up. He was expecting her call after his email the night before. Clark hadn't slept well. After his nightmare, he'd only let himself doze.
His mother's voice on the machine urged him to pick up the phone and just talk to her. Sighing, he picked up the receiver. He wasn't sure why.
"Clark, honey. Listen. Your father and I are really worried about you."
"I got that when you sent Lex to see me. Why did you do that? There's nothing to worry about."
"It isn't healthy, Clark. Being alone is not the answer."
"Honey, life isn't easy. If you're just existing, that isn't living."
"You sound like Dad."
"Listen, Mom. I know you guys love me and I understand you're worried. But I think this is how it has to be. I can't tell anyone the truth, and I'm tired of lying."
"I know, but you can't do it this way."
"What other way is there? I spent my whole life hiding from people I called my friends. Yet I could never trust any one of them completely. It hurt, Mom. It still hurts. It's just easier this way to not be hurt." His voice cracked on the last word.
"Mom, I have to go. I have a paper to work on."
"I love you, honey."
"Me too, mom. Bye."
He hung up the phone and stared at it. The lump in his throat tightened and the tears threatened to fall. He blinked a couple of times and released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
So much easier to just not feel.
The clattering of the keys was complemented by the jazz that spilled from his speakers. Music filled the small room, the English essay filled the computer screen. He almost didn't hear the knock on the door. Wouldn't have if it weren't for the super hearing. He thought about ignoring it.
The second knock was louder and accompanied by a voice calling his name. Clark closed his eyes and cursed softly under his breath. Why didn't anyone listen? He used the remote to turn the stereo down and got up to talk the visitor into leaving.
Twisting the deadbolt, then the doorknob, Clark opened the door. "Lex."
"Clark." Lex acknowledged. Clark stood solidly in the doorway, no indication to him moving, Lex asked, "Can I come in?"
"I don't think that's such a great idea. I'm busy with homework."
"C'mon, Clark. I just want to talk to you."
Clark sighed and stepped back, allowing Lex to enter. "I have an English paper I'm working on, Lex. I don't really have time..."
Lex surveyed the room, noticing the only areas that looked lived in were the computer desk and the table beside the television. Lex snapped his attention back to Clark, ignoring the words coming from his mouth. "Clark, I don't really care about your paper. I care about you. You're my friend and I want to help."
Exasperated, Clark raised his voice a little. "Lex - Seriously, would you stop? I can't deal with this. There's nothing to help with. Everything is fine. I want to be alone. Please?"
"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me."
Clark sputtered in frustration. "Why are you doing this? Can't you just accept I want to be alone? I don't need a friend. I don't need people worried about me. I don't need you."
Lex blinked at Clark's words, dismissing them before stepping closer, almost touching him. "I think you do. Whatever it is, I want to help."
"Would you quit saying that? I'm tired of people telling me they want to help, like anybody knows what it is to be a frea..." He stopped short, realizing what he was saying.
Lex half smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere. Why do you think you're a freak? I always considered myself one, but never you."
Clark closed his eyes and stepped back from Lex. Turning his back, he whispered, "Shit."
Lex just raised an eyebrow and waited. Clark shook his head. "Lex. I think you should go."
Clark turned around to face Lex, tears filling his eyes. "Please?"
Lex shook his head and reached out to touch Clark's face, but Clark pulled away, hitched a breath and sat down on the couch. "Lex, you have no idea. It could destroy me."
"You can tell me anything. I'm your friend, Clark." Lex walked over to the sofa and sat down next to him.
Clark started in a whisper. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I never wanted to, but it wasn't about you. Or any of my other friends that I lied to for years. I can do things, Lex. I'm a freak."
Lex just watched Clark's face. Clark looked at his hands and tried to form words that actually made sentences.
"My parents only wanted to protect me. They love me. I can't let them be hurt because of me." Clark allowed himself a quick look at Lex from the corner of his eye through tear-covered lashes before focusing back on his hands. His fingers twisted the hem of his shirt. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Everything is my fault."
"Well, everything in Smallville. Your hair, Lana's parents, all the meteor mutants, Cassandra...it's all my fault."
"How, Clark? How can any of that be your fault?"
"The meteors weren't alone. They came with a ship, with a little boy in it. Eventually that boy could do things no one that was normal would be able to. He could run really fast and see through things. He could even get hit with a car and be shot and nothing could hurt him."
Lex covered his mouth with his hand. "I believed you. All those times you were lying to me? The entire time? How could you lie to me when I trusted you?"
"It wasn't about you. I couldn't tell anyone. It could hurt so many people."
"I... Jesus, Clark." Lex got up and walked to the door. "I trusted you, Clark. But you never trusted me, did you?"
Clark whispered, "It was more about not trusting myself."
Lex opened the door and stepped through. He turned, letting his eyes roam over Clark for a second. "Don't you understand, Lex? That's why I distanced myself. Why I needed to be alone."
Lex nodded and closed the door. Clark slumped back on the couch, the tears that threatened before running down his cheeks.
Liar. Liar. Liar. It was the only word running through Lex's brain. He needed to calm down. His hands were shaking. The only person he'd ever been able to trust had just thrown it all back at him. Clark lied. Clark's fault. Everything was Clark's fault. Jesus.
He turned a corner and tried to focus on the street signs. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Clark. He stopped at a light and slammed his fist into the steering wheel. His cell phone rang and he looked at it in disgust. He never answered when he was driving. Not since...Clark.
Fuck! Did everything lead back to back to him? Lex pulled up next to the penthouse and shut the car off. He got out, tossed the valet his keys and stalked to the elevator. The button was already lit up, but Lex pressed it with his thumb again. And when the elevator wasn't there immediately, he pushed it a few more times. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He tapped his foot, waiting for the car. When it finally arrived and the floor-button was pushed, he leaned against the back wall and closed his eyes.
Clark lied. Clark. Meteor shower. All the things Lex let go. All the times that Lex told himself he was paranoid. Clark wouldn't lie. Clark was too good. Clark was his friend, he wouldn't do that to him. He wouldn't be just like everyone else. Like his father.
The bell dinged and he got off the elevator, walked the few steps to the door and opened it. Lex stepped inside.
His father. What would his father say? "I told you, Lex, trust your family." That would probably be followed by something about business and profit. Profit. Fuck.
Lex leaned against the door and slid down, sitting hard on the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and leaned his head down on them. Fuck.
And suddenly, Lex understood. Well, not completely. But a little. He blinked rapidly, and took a deep breath, swallowing down the lump filling his chest. What had Clark said? It could destroy him? Yeah. Lex could see that. Lionel could destroy Clark. He would. Wouldn't even blink an eye. The experiments and projects. The destruction of everything that Clark had ever cared about to get him to cooperate. Clark's parents, his friends, the farm.
Lex tilted his head back and banged it hard against the door. Stared at the ceiling of the foyer. Fuck.
Clark woke up on the couch, covered in sweat again. Same dream. Only this time it was real. Maybe it wasn't a dream so much as a premonition. Not what could happen, but what would. What had happened.
There was an infomercial on the television and Clark turned it off, sending the living room into darkness. He got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen to turn the light off there. Down the hall, to his bathroom where he washed his tear-streaked face, and then to the bedroom to change. He stripped off his pants, leaving his boxers and t-shirt and crawled into bed, hoping the dream wouldn't plague him again.
Sunlight streaked in through his bedroom windows, waking him. Glancing at the clock, he sighed. Even after being off the farm for this long, he still woke up too early. He groaned and turned over, but froze when he heard a throat clear.
"I thought I took away the key."
"Never underestimate my resourcefulness."
"How long have you been here watching me?"
"Couple of hours. I couldn't sleep."
Clark finished turning over and stared into steely-gray eyes. So close he could touch Lex if he just reached out. Instead, he pulled the blanket up around him and sat back, waiting for Lex to explain. When the silence got uncomfortable, Clark prompted, "Did you break in here for a reason?"
Eyes narrowed and Lex was silent for a full 30 seconds before he asked, "Do you think I'm exactly like my father?"
"No. I don't think you're like him. That's not why I didn't tell you."
"Does anyone else know? I mean besides your parents."
"Kyle and Ryan, and that's really only because Kyle saw you shoot me and Ryan read my mom's mind."
Lex had to sit down. "I... I sh-shot you?"
Clark sighed. "When Rickman had control over you."
"You said I didn't hurt you!"
"You didn't really. It bruised me a little, but it healed within a couple of days."
"I knew about Ryan. He wasn't exactly subtle. I didn't exploit him, why did you think I would do that to you?"
"God, Lex. Don't you listen? It wasn't about you. It wasn't about you at all. I mean, God, do you know how many times I wanted to tell you? How many times I was so close to blurting it out that it almost hurt? I was scared, Lex. But not of what you would do. More scared of that look on your face. The one I saw yesterday. The one that says 'God you're a freak, I can't even look at you.'"
"Clark, I don't care that you're whatever you are. I don't care about what you can do. I care more that you lied to me. Right to my face - how many times? I didn't think friends did that to each other."
"I did it to all of my friends. I've been friends with Pete since the first grade, and he doesn't know. I've known Chloe since eighth grade, and she doesn't know. You're the only one who knows, Lex."
Lex got up and walked over to the window, staring out. "Why did you tell me?"
"I don't know. I keep having this dream. One where everyone finds out and turns away, calling me a freak. I had it just before you were here the second time and I'd just gotten off the phone with my mom, and I don't know, Lex. I guess I'm just tired. Tired of lying. Tired of feeling like I'm such a shitty friend that I have to be alone. Tired of hiding everything."
Lex turned to face Clark, "What else are you hiding?"
"Everything?" Lex repeated.
Clark just nodded.
"Are you going to clarify?"
Clark sighed. "Lex." And then he stopped, shook his head. "I...Lex? Can I just show you?"
"Do you trust me?"
Lex snorted. "Sure, Clark. Whatever."
Clark held out his hand and Lex stared at it, looked up at Clark's face. Earnest. Good. Dammit. Lex couldn't. He had to.
Clark pulled him close, wrapping his body around Lex's. "Um, Clark? This wasn't really..."
"Shh...Stay close. Tuck your face in, I haven't done this with someone else in a while."
Lex closed his eyes. Wind rushed at him, Clark's arms held Lex close to his chest, Lex held on as tight as he could. It was almost like flying.
He felt them stop, and he tentatively opened his eyes and pulled his head away from Clark's chest. But Clark didn't let him out of the circle of his arms. Lex looked around, then back at Clark, "Where?"
"Smallville. The farm."
Clark grinned. "Shh... you don't want to wake up my dad do you?" Lex shook his head. Clark let Lex step out of his arms, but he held firmly to Lex's hand. He tugged gently, walking to a building on the side of the house. "C'mon, I'll explain everything." They walked down the stairs, Lex stumbling a little as he stepped.
"The day of the meteor shower, my parents, the Kents, were driving home and the truck flipped when it was near a meteor strike. They were hanging upside down, and I found them. Then they found this." Clark stepped forward and pointed at a covered object in the middle of the cellar. "This is what brought me here." He uncovered the pod and looked nervously at Lex. Lex's eyes got huge and he just stared.
Clark continued. "They adopted me, kept me a secret. I was strong even then. Stronger than my dad. Stronger than he'd ever seen. I'm pretty much indestructible, stronger than several men..." Clark trailed off, watching Lex. Lex looked from the pod to Clark and back again.
"I know. This is why I had to keep it a secret. If certain people found out, I would be an experiment. I could be in a cage or tank for people to stand around and gawk at." He rushed ahead before Lex could interrupt and ask if he meant him, "And it wasn't that I thought you would do that, but what if your dad found out? Or what if..."
Lex nodded. "It's ok. I get it."
Lex's mind was running. The things he could do. No. The things Clark could do. No. Lex wrestled with himself to keep it all in. Clark squeezed his hand and Lex looked up at him. "This is a lot of information to absorb."
Clark nodded. "Listen, Lex, we should get back before it gets light, and before my parents wake up." He motioned to Lex to come closer and Lex snuggled in this time. He held on, squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Clark's chest. He felt Clark's arms wrapped around him tightly.
In a few minutes, they were back in Clark's apartment. Clark was looking at him when he pulled away. "Is there anything else, Clark?"
Clark seemed to be struggling with something. About to speak, but not sure. Lex chuckled. "What would surprise me at this point, Clark? There's not a whole lot that would."
Clark smiled. "The strength and speed you saw. I can also see through things, like walls, um, skin, clothes..." Clark blushed. "Um, I am tough, bullets, cars, nothing really hurts me more than a little bruising...Sometimes I float but I can't really control that. I don't know what else will show up, I don't know why, or how."
Lex nodded. Clark looked at Lex again, a look of concentration on his face. "What are you doing?"
"Your collar bone has been broken, your arm in two places, two of your fingers... There's a scar on your left shoulder, and you're, God." The blush was back.
"What is it?"
"You're um. Not wearing any underwear."
Lex started laughing. And then he couldn't stop. All the weirdness, all the emotion, everything bubbling to the surface, spilling out in huge peals of laughter. He took large breaths and had to sit down. Clark just looked a little confused.
"Sorry, Clark. I'm not laughing at you. It's just everything."
"There's something else, Lex. I can tell you anything, right? No repeats of yesterday? I can't deal with you leaving like that again."
Lex shook his head. "Nope. Just no more lies. I can't deal with that."
Clark walked over to the couch and sat down next to Lex. He took a deep breath, looked at how intently Lex was watching him and looked away for a second. Turned around, looked Lex in the eye and then kissed him.
Lex didn't react. The warm lips on his, soft pressure. Clark pulled away and looked at him. Absolutely stunned look on Lex's face. "Clark?"
"The hell? You kissed me?"
"Are you messing with me?" Please say no. Please say yes. Lex didn't care. He just wanted more of that.
"No. This is it, Lex. This is me. You know everything now."
A million thoughts ran through Lex's head. The lies, the space-ship, the abilities Clark hid. Let it go? The concept was almost foreign to Lex. He made his decision in an instant. Let it go.
Lex tilted his face to look at Clark again, before closing his eyes and leaning in. Lex found soft lips again, this time, Lex was in control. He rested one hand on Clark's chest, the other on his thigh. Clark whimpered. He moved closer, tugging Clark to him. Increased pressure at his lips, moist heat. Clark's arms wrapped around him and Lex found himself in Clark's lap, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was closer.
Lex's hands roamed across Clark's chest, feeling muscles through the thin t-shirt Clark wore. The kiss changed as Lex parted his lips and licked. Clark gasped and pulled away.
"Lex, I just realized that I'm only wearing boxers."
"Less to take off." Lex kissed Clark again and shoved his hands under his t-shirt, fingers grazing over sleek muscles. Brushed back and forth slowly, dipping fingers into Clark's navel. He prodded Clark's lips with his tongue, slipping inside that mouth, tasting, learning him.
The noise Lex made when Clark started to suck on his tongue could only be described as needy, desperate. Clark's hands roamed across his back, feeling like he was practically taking inventory of the muscles. The room was getting entirely too warm for the amount of clothing he had on.
Lex pulled away to strip off his shirt. Clark stared hungrily at him the whole time. Eyes half-lidded, tongue snaking out to moisten his lips. Lex groaned and dove back in for more kissing. Captured lips, roaming tongues. Clark's hands slid over Lex's bare skin. Lex ran his hands under Clark's shirt, pushing it up, fingertips exploring underneath.
Clark gasped and pulled away when Lex found his nipple. Lex just smiled and twisted, causing Clark to moan loudly and throw his head back.
Lex pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his exposed neck, trailing a series of sucking kisses up Clark's jaw-line, up to his ear, teasing the soft lobe between his teeth. Clark's eyes were closed and his breathing was irregular, like he couldn't get enough air. Lex grinned, fingers trailing down Clark's sides to rest on his hips.
The hard cock pressed against his own twitched. Flesh only separated by thin boxers and trousers. Clark bucked against him and Lex licked his ear, letting his tongue slide along the outer shell. Clark was panting now, making whining little noises mixed in with low grunts. "Lex," Clark whispered. "Lex, you're torturing me. I want you."
"How many nights did you spend alone imagining this?" Lex closed his mouth over a nipple and bit gently, then laved at it with his tongue, earning him another moan. "Imagining me licking you, touching you like this?
Clark was obviously past being able to think properly. He didn't answer Lex with words, just sounds.
"You're so hot like this, Clark. Needy and open. Gorgeous."
Lex untangled himself from Clark's lap and kneeled between his parted knees. Leaning forward, tongue slipping across his stomach, down to his navel, dipping in. Clark just writhing beneath him.
Lex hooked his fingers in the elasticized band of Clark's boxers and pulled. Clark lifted, allowing Lex to slide them down his legs. Lex just stared, long lazy look, taking in all of Clark, boxers around ankles, shirt up around his chest, glorious skin everywhere.
Clark looked down and caught Lex's eye. "Lex? Don't stop. God, you feel so good."
Lex grinned at him again. "So ready, so eager." He dragged a finger from Clark's knee to inner thigh, down to the soft skin behind his balls and back to the puckered opening, running a fingertip across gently.
Clark bucked and groaned. "Jesus, Lex. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to take this. Waited too long."
Lex raised an eyebrow, "Ever done this before?" Another brush of his finger.
Clark managed to choke out, "No, but don't stop."
Lex leaned down and flicked his tongue across the head of Clark's cock. A thrust and a groan were his reward. Lex ran his tongue under the hood and shifted it back with his fingers. He sucked the head into his mouth and twirled his tongue around.
Pre-cum seeped onto his tongue and Lex closed his eyes. Different. He sucked harder and took more of the shaft into his mouth. Working his mouth up and down before taking a deep breath through his nose and letting it out, before swallowing the entire length.
"Lex!" shouted Clark. Lex's throat muscles worked around the head as he swallowed before pulling back and licking the underside of Clark's cock along the vein. "Lex, oh God, I'm gonna. Lex, can't, oh man, Lex!" Clark's hips came off the couch as his cock pulsed and he came across Lex's tongue. He rolled it around his mouth, savoring the taste before swallowing.
Lex looked up and grinned at Clark. His eyes were still closed, his mouth still open, breathing heavily. Face flushed, beads of sweat across his forehead. Amazing.
Lex crawled up to kneel next to him on the couch. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Clark's. Clark responded by thrusting his tongue into Lex's mouth, exploring his own taste. Arms wrapped around Lex, tugged him close. Lex moaned into the mouth covering his and twined his tongue around Clark's.
Clark pulled away. "Lex?"
Lex's hands were roaming up and down Clark's arms, and his mouth was seeking access to Clark's neck. "Mmmhmm?" he mumbled into the skin. A bite and a lick, worrying the skin between his teeth.
"Lex, ohh, um. I like that."
"Good." Harder this time.
"What about, ohh, about you?"
"I want to fuck you. Have for a long time. Feel your heat around me, hear you calling my name when you come. So hot when you say my name."
"God, Lex. Your voice is so sexy. I want you inside me, to make you come."
Clark nodded and got up from the couch. He took Lex's hand and pulled him up next to him, only to take Lex's mouth in a fierce kiss. Lips already swollen and wet, pressed together, tongues sliding, hands everywhere.
Clothing flew, leaving a trail to the bedroom, as each boy shed their remaining constrictions.
Lex found himself shoved against the wall in the bedroom. Long hard body pressed to his. Skin on skin, his hard cock sliding against Clark's thigh, hand on the back of his head, holding him. Like Clark couldn't get close enough. The lips he'd imagined for years against his, tongue stroking his, sounds of want and need the only things breaking the silence.
"Clark," gasped Lex. But Clark wasn't listening. His mouth was attached to Lex's neck, sucking, biting, tasting. One hand drifted down to Lex's cock, and a thumb brushed against the head. Lex's hips jerked and he moaned as Clark's hand wrapped around the shaft and started to pump.
"Clark. What are you? Ohh. You're going to make me come." Lex grunted.
"Yeah, Lex. Come for me. Then you can fuck me. I wanna feel your cock twitch and come all over my hand."
"Fuck, Clark. So hot. Keep talking." Lex followed the rhythm of Clark's hand, twisting his hips, fucking Clark's fist.
Clark licked his way from Lex's neck to his ear, thrusting his tongue inside. Hearing Lex groan, he started talking. A husky whisper, putting to words everything he'd thought of.
"Lex, God. You're so fucking sexy like this. I want everything. Your cock in my mouth, or my ass, coming inside me. You touching me everywhere."
Lex strained and came, shaking and sagged against Clark. Eyes closed, knees week, only standing because of the arm holding him. He felt Clark walk them backwards to the bed and maneuver them onto it. Lex on his back with Clark snuggled up to him. Arm flung across Lex's chest, leg crooked across his knee, head buried in his chest.
Lex stroked a hand down Clark's back. "Clark?" All he got was a muffled sound from the vicinity of his chest. "We should probably talk about all this."
Lex felt Clark tense and move away. "Ok." Suddenly the Clark from before was back. Jaw set, eyes determined, not touching Lex anywhere.
"Hey. It's not bad. Come back." He reached to run his fingers across Clark's arm. Lex sighed when Clark didn't move. "What happened to you? I told you before that you could tell me anything. And I meant it. I just think we need to talk."
Clark nodded, eyes softening. "Chloe." Lex looked a little puzzled. But Clark forged on.
"She got the closest to figuring me out. Well, not the spaceship part, but the me liking you part. She flat out asked me one day if I was gay. The look on her face told me I could never tell her the truth, about anything. She looked hurt and disgusted and... And I knew that if that relatively normal kind of secret was going to make her look like that, then what would my real secret do? How could I truly be her friend if I was always lying to her? Lying about everything. And of all my friends, she was more open-minded than the rest."
Clark took a deep breath before continuing, "I lied to everyone. My friends, parents, you. I was keeping something from everyone and it was just so much easier to just be alone than risk seeing that look ever again. And when I saw it on your face yesterday, I thought I had been right all along."
Clark looked shyly at Lex, "I'm glad I wasn't right about you."
Lex nodded and smiled. He moved next to Clark, pressing his body closer. "I'm glad you decided I was worth the risk."
"So, you're really okay with the whole super-powers thing? I could really hurt you."
"I trust you. I always have." And, with that, Lex caught Clark's mouth in a kiss.
Clark's arms came around him, tugging Lex on top. Clark arched into him and whispered, "Aren't you supposed to fuck me now?"
Lex groaned as he felt himself start to get hard again. "Clark, we don't have any lube, and I don't want to hurt you."
"You can't hurt me, Lex." Clark shifted again, rubbing his erection into Lex's thigh.
"It might hurt me." Lex gasped as Clark's hand found a nipple to tug on.
"Can we use anything else? I really want you inside me." He twisted his fingers, nipple hardening for him.
"I don't, ahh, know what you have." Lex tried to stay focused, but Clark's fingers were doing wonderful things to him. "Clark. God, you have to stop."
"I don't want to." He pouted.
"I'll go look in your bathroom. Don't move." Reluctantly, Lex slid off Clark and made his way to the bathroom. A few seconds later he was back, a tub of something in his hand.
"What's that? Vaseline? Why do I even have that?" Clark questioned.
Lex shook his head, "I have no idea, Clark. But it will work."
Clark grinned as Lex slid next to him and silenced him with a kiss. Arms around him and Clark's hands were back, exploring his skin. Lex pulled back, panting. He patted Clark's hip and pushed at him. "Turn, Clark." And Lex smiled at him.
Clark groaned, but turned onto his stomach. Up on his knees and leaning on his forearms, he looked amazing. Lex took in the site before running a hand along his back, following the curve down to his rounded ass displayed just for him. Lex moved in behind Clark and wrapped around him. Open mouthed kissed pressed to Clark's neck and shoulders, down, down along his spine, pausing to bite and grinning at the noises made at each one.
Tongue finally making its way to the cleft and Lex parted the cheeks with a hand and licked down. Whimpers from Clark that Lex took as pure encouragement. He grinned into the bronzed skin and licked down to the little hole. He circled it with his tongue, teasing until Clark rocked back, moaning.
Lex slid his tongue inside, pistoning it in and out until he heard Clark cry out and start to beg. "Lex, oh God, please. Please, Lex. Need you? Please?"
"Shh... Clark. Anything you want." Lex felt for the little pot and dug in with his fingers. He probed the opening, sliding inside, heat grabbing at him. Adding another finger, he searched for and found Clark's prostate.
"Lex. I need you now. Please fuck me. Waited so long... just fuck me."
Lex couldn't resist the pleading tone. Up on his knees and slicking himself before lining up against Clark and easing inside. Slowly, slowly, savoring the tightness and warmth. All the way inside, hips against Clark's ass, letting Clark get used to this.
Clark rocked back, urged him on with his wordless pleas. Lex found a rhythm that made Clark moan at every thrust. He wrapped an arm around Clark's waist, finding his hard cock. Clark matched the rhythm that was set, trying to keep up.
Lex's thrusts turned erratic. It was too hot. Too much. It was Clark. "I'm so close. God, you're fucking amazing."
Feeling Lex slamming against him, almost out of control, was dizzying. Lex's voice pushed him over the edge. He grunted and called Lex's name as he spilled across the sheets. Lex stiffened behind him, shouting and collapsing on Clark.
The sounds of panting filled the room. When Lex finally got his breathing under control, he slowly disentangled himself from Clark and rolled to the side. Clark turned to him and grinned a patented Kent smile. Lex couldn't help but smile back and snuggle into his side. Arms pulled him closer, and for the first time he could remember,Lex couldn't stop smiling.
Clark didn't want to move. Lex's hard, hot body was smooshed against him and he felt so right there that he never wanted to move. He sighed contentedly.
Lex was moving, probably trying to get up to shower, but Clark wasn't ready yet. "Can we just stay right here? We can shower in a little while."
He felt Lex nod into his chest and then relax. Lex propped himself on an elbow and looked at him. "Clark? Are you okay?"
Clark nodded. "Better than okay, Lex. Much better."
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